Public speaking can be a daunting task for many people. It becomes even more of a challenge when you are delivering a eulogy at a funeral or celebration of life. It’s an emotional time. You’re likely navigating your own grief and helping to support friends and family members who are also grieving. That said, there are some universal tips that apply to any public speaking event, that you can practice to help ease your nerves so you can deliver a a hearfelt tribute honoring your loved one.
Prepare and practice
The key to successful public speaking is preparation, regardless of the event you are planning to speak at. Take the time to read through the eulogy several times so you know what you want to say and how you want to convey it. Organize your thoughts, and create an outline or script if you plan to memorize it rather than read it word for word. Practice your speech multiple times, either by yourself or in front of a mirror, to become familiar with the content and improve your delivery.
Know your audience
Understand who you’ll be speaking to and tailor your speech accordingly. In the case of a eulogy, your words should always be respecful and reflect the tone appropriate to the person you’re eulogizing. What was their personality? Did they appreciate humor? Were they serious? Reflecting the tone of the person you’re eulogizing will help you deliver your message in a way that’s respectful and also resonates with their loved ones.
Start with a strong opening
Capture your audience's attention right from the beginning. After introducing yourself and thanking the people attending for being there, it’s wise to start with a compelling story, a surprising fact, a thought-provoking question, or a powerful quote. Engage your audience right from the start to create interest and set the tone for the rest of your eulogy. It’s often powerful to begin with a theme that can be carried through to the closing.
Maintain eye contact
Establishing eye contact with your audience builds trust and engagement. Look at different sections of the audience and make eye contact with individuals. This helps create a connection and keeps your audience attentive.
Speak with confidence
Project your voice clearly and use a steady pace. Vary your tone and inflection to emphasize key points and maintain the audience's interest. Pause when appropriate. Show authenticity through your body language and facial expressions, as they can have a significant impact on how your message is received.
It’s worth noting that many people fear becoming emotional when giving a eulogy. While this is completely understandable, it’s not something your audience will likely think twice about. The people attending are also grieving. They expect you may become emotional. If that happens simply pause and take a breath. When you feel ready continue on.
Use storytelling techniques
Stories are a powerful tool for capturing attention and conveying information in a memorable way. Rather than simply saying, “Joe was always so kind” share a story that demonstartes his kindness. Incorporate your loved ones’ favorite sayings or stories. Use words he or she often used. This will bring a sense of connection and comfort to everyone listening,
Practice active listening
Public speaking isn’t just about delivering your message; it also involves connecting with your audience. Pay attention to their reactions and body language. Adjust your pace, tone, or content if you notice disinterest or confusion.
Manage nerves and embrace mistakes
It's normal to feel nervous before public speaking, but try to channel that nervous energy into something positive. In the case of a eulogy, focus on the value in honoring your loved one and creating a powerful tribute for him or her. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and even experienced speakers stumble at times. If you make a mistake or forget something, stay calm and carry on. Your audience is more interested in your message than your mistakes.
Remember, it’s an honor to be asked to give a eulogy. You are in essence being asked to create a speech that captures the spirit of a person who is no longer living. It’s an opportunity to carry on their legacy in the minds and hearts of the people gathered together one last time to say farewell. And at the end of the day, it’s really about an opportunity to pay tribute to a life. Delivery is important but even more so is the love reflected in what you say.
Darcey Peterson, is a professional writer and speechwriter and the owner of Lasting Eulogies where she provides custom written eulogies for people who’ve experienced the death of a loved one. Originally from New York, she has written PR as well as speeches for politicians, CEO’s, organizational leaders, college professors and many others in a variety of professions. She currently lives in the beautiful Puget Sound with her family.